http://feministpornographer.com/2009/03/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned.html Pornographic Personal Politics Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:54:35 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://feministpornographer.com/2009/03/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned.html/comment-page-1#comment-120 Anonymous Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:48:02 +0000 http://tempfem.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned#comment-120 Thanks for sharing your story. Was certainly a tough read at times but a definite eye opener. Thanks for sharing your story. Was certainly a tough read at times but a definite eye opener.

]]> http://feministpornographer.com/2009/03/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned.html/comment-page-1#comment-119 Apollo Unchained Sat, 25 Apr 2009 07:44:00 +0000 http://tempfem.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned#comment-119 What a wonderful post. It was so real. Painful yet funny. Sad but hopeful. So real. What a wonderful post. It was so real. Painful yet funny. Sad but hopeful. So real.

]]> http://feministpornographer.com/2009/03/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned.html/comment-page-1#comment-118 juvenon Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:52:00 +0000 http://tempfem.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned#comment-118 You’ve clearly touched on a powerful topic in your blog. I woke up very early the other morning thinking about the male gaze, porno, desire, and sexuality, and how I might respond and contribute to the threads you’ve staked out in your postings. I don’t often do something like that. <br />So, what’s with the male gaze? Let me try to contribute something here.<br />Well, starting with the obvious, men are instinctively drawn to looking at interesting women; I certainly am. A pretty face makes me linger, and it took me some time growing up to learn how to gaze without gawking, without making a woman feel uncomfortable. I like a situation where I can help make a woman feel attractive without going over any personal space/body image/appropriateness boundaries. <br />And breasts of course are very attractive but within a danger zone for the looker. The sight of unencumbered breasts undulating freely underneath a fashionably tailored blouse is absolutely riveting, as are nipples standing out from the smoothness of the surrounding landscape. <br />But nipple protrusion is Not Good. Floppy tits are Awkward. So, women wear bras to solve these issues and cover things up. No rocket science here.<br />But bras, like the Greek statues you see in museums or history books, present an Ideal Form. They lift, separate, cross your heart with something called living, and imply that you will now have the form of a maiden, whatever that means. All the uniqueness is gone.<br />One of the truly neat things I’ve learned as a subscriber to I Shot Myself (I’m Juvenon) is the wonderful variety of breasts that women have. Some stick out, some are round and elongated like an American football, some are straight on, some droop to the sides, some….. You get the picture I’m sure. <br />All of this is hidden under the bra, and porno (the typical porno that I’m tired of and you seem to be as well) tries to emulate that ideal form. As a young male adolescent, you very naturally link your thoughts from the public view of breasts-in-a-bra to the private world of porno images that continue the image that breasts need a certain form to be desirable. Adolescent boys are like little ducklings; what we initially see is imprinted in us as desirable because we don’t have any other model or image. So if you fantasize about that cute girl in class and then jerk off to a porno image that might look like her, with breasts that stick out the way your classmate’s does inside her bra, you’ve got these things imprinted in you already. You don’t get to see the terrific variety of breasts that are all just absolutely sexy and thrilling that exist in the real world. <br />So, perhaps the men that were rude to you are still locked in those fantasy projections that formed in their adolescence, and they never grew up. They sure the hell didn’t learn how to be civil. <br />My $.01 contribution on this topic. Used to be $.02 until the financial markets melted down. <br />I can’t say much about your anal adventure, although your writing just drew me right into the story (no pun intended). I would play with the asshole of a lover I had some years ago, reaching under her when we had sex and putting my middle finger into her, up to my first knuckle. She said that she really didn’t feel it too much; she was lost in the lovemaking, so I didn’t keep it up. Or in, as the case may be. <br />Again, a terrific blog, you’ve touched a nerve with your writing. I’m looking forward to hearing how you do a happy marriage and be polyamorous. You’ve clearly touched on a powerful topic in your blog. I woke up very early the other morning thinking about the male gaze, porno, desire, and sexuality, and how I might respond and contribute to the threads you’ve staked out in your postings. I don’t often do something like that.
So, what’s with the male gaze? Let me try to contribute something here.
Well, starting with the obvious, men are instinctively drawn to looking at interesting women; I certainly am. A pretty face makes me linger, and it took me some time growing up to learn how to gaze without gawking, without making a woman feel uncomfortable. I like a situation where I can help make a woman feel attractive without going over any personal space/body image/appropriateness boundaries.
And breasts of course are very attractive but within a danger zone for the looker. The sight of unencumbered breasts undulating freely underneath a fashionably tailored blouse is absolutely riveting, as are nipples standing out from the smoothness of the surrounding landscape.
But nipple protrusion is Not Good. Floppy tits are Awkward. So, women wear bras to solve these issues and cover things up. No rocket science here.
But bras, like the Greek statues you see in museums or history books, present an Ideal Form. They lift, separate, cross your heart with something called living, and imply that you will now have the form of a maiden, whatever that means. All the uniqueness is gone.
One of the truly neat things I’ve learned as a subscriber to I Shot Myself (I’m Juvenon) is the wonderful variety of breasts that women have. Some stick out, some are round and elongated like an American football, some are straight on, some droop to the sides, some….. You get the picture I’m sure.
All of this is hidden under the bra, and porno (the typical porno that I’m tired of and you seem to be as well) tries to emulate that ideal form. As a young male adolescent, you very naturally link your thoughts from the public view of breasts-in-a-bra to the private world of porno images that continue the image that breasts need a certain form to be desirable. Adolescent boys are like little ducklings; what we initially see is imprinted in us as desirable because we don’t have any other model or image. So if you fantasize about that cute girl in class and then jerk off to a porno image that might look like her, with breasts that stick out the way your classmate’s does inside her bra, you’ve got these things imprinted in you already. You don’t get to see the terrific variety of breasts that are all just absolutely sexy and thrilling that exist in the real world.
So, perhaps the men that were rude to you are still locked in those fantasy projections that formed in their adolescence, and they never grew up. They sure the hell didn’t learn how to be civil.
My $.01 contribution on this topic. Used to be $.02 until the financial markets melted down.
I can’t say much about your anal adventure, although your writing just drew me right into the story (no pun intended). I would play with the asshole of a lover I had some years ago, reaching under her when we had sex and putting my middle finger into her, up to my first knuckle. She said that she really didn’t feel it too much; she was lost in the lovemaking, so I didn’t keep it up. Or in, as the case may be.
Again, a terrific blog, you’ve touched a nerve with your writing. I’m looking forward to hearing how you do a happy marriage and be polyamorous.

]]> http://feministpornographer.com/2009/03/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned.html/comment-page-1#comment-117 Sloth Womyn Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:58:00 +0000 http://tempfem.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/anal-porn-%e2%80%93-lessons-learned#comment-117 Wow! I am blown away by your honesty! Sometimes I was fascinated, sometimes nauseous, but I couldn't stop reading. You are awesome! Wow! I am blown away by your honesty! Sometimes I was fascinated, sometimes nauseous, but I couldn't stop reading. You are awesome!

]]>